[ the sass gets a little smile, too - he doesn't seem to mind it. san lang the ferret chitters from around his neck, pleased.
and as for the question... ]
...Something of the like. [ xie lian tucks his hands together in his sleeves. he seems to take a moment where he's trying to decide where to start. ] I was something of an adventurer myself, though I have long since completed that journey. I saw many situations similar to what you described on those travels - and, my own home has been through great strife. I have fought alongside many brave men in the harshest battles of war, many who wish for the same - to die in battle for you is my greatest honor, when I would rather they simply live, instead.
Truthfully, all I have ever wanted is to help people. I have been in a privileged position where I am able to do so, but even still, it never feels quite like enough.
[Wow does some of that hit close to home. Alisaie drops her attention toward Taf, who has been lying quietly in her lap since they sat, gently brushing back his fur.
(Depending on how observant Xie Lian is, he may well have noticed by this point that she hasn't met his eyes once.)]
That's a struggle I understand all too well. That feeling of being powerless to do enough to save people... it's a terrible feeling.
[ he is pretty darn observant! he keeps it to himself for the moment, though, glancing at her briefly before closing his eyes. ]
Mmm - the worst there can be.
[ xian le and catacombs, alike.
what does keep pushing xie lian on? he tilts his head up for a moment. after everything - after tasting failure, for the first time in his life, after watching the world fall apart in his hands under the whims of a foul creature with a half smiling-half crying mask - it is a fresh, fresh wound still, but he keeps moving forward.
it's a good question.
he opens his eyes again. ]
...I think it is just that I still can. [ like he's coming to a little bit of a realization. ] Because I still walk this earth, I have the ability to help others, and even I get knocked down, I can get back up and try again.
I want to save people. That's all I've ever wanted - it is all I have ever worked for. There will always be people who need help, and for as long as I am alive, that is all I ever want to do.
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no subject
and as for the question... ]
...Something of the like. [ xie lian tucks his hands together in his sleeves. he seems to take a moment where he's trying to decide where to start. ] I was something of an adventurer myself, though I have long since completed that journey. I saw many situations similar to what you described on those travels - and, my own home has been through great strife. I have fought alongside many brave men in the harshest battles of war, many who wish for the same - to die in battle for you is my greatest honor, when I would rather they simply live, instead.
Truthfully, all I have ever wanted is to help people. I have been in a privileged position where I am able to do so, but even still, it never feels quite like enough.
no subject
(Depending on how observant Xie Lian is, he may well have noticed by this point that she hasn't met his eyes once.)]
That's a struggle I understand all too well. That feeling of being powerless to do enough to save people... it's a terrible feeling.
But something must keep you pushing forward, yes?
no subject
Mmm - the worst there can be.
[ xian le and catacombs, alike.
what does keep pushing xie lian on? he tilts his head up for a moment. after everything - after tasting failure, for the first time in his life, after watching the world fall apart in his hands under the whims of a foul creature with a half smiling-half crying mask - it is a fresh, fresh wound still, but he keeps moving forward.
it's a good question.
he opens his eyes again. ]
...I think it is just that I still can. [ like he's coming to a little bit of a realization. ] Because I still walk this earth, I have the ability to help others, and even I get knocked down, I can get back up and try again.
I want to save people. That's all I've ever wanted - it is all I have ever worked for. There will always be people who need help, and for as long as I am alive, that is all I ever want to do.