[It seems as though a lot of them are taking some time to vibe on the beach and honestly can anyone blame them considering how cramped and run-down the city is??? Like damn
Alisaie's 100% been in the water swimming and y'know what Rex happens to be near where she's dumped her belongings so she's just gonna come right up and grab her towel (is it one of the ones from the hotel? Absolutely).]
You're too tall to be one of the children from the city. Are you another of those brought here a few days ago?
It always returns to controlling worlds, doesn't it? [Dried enough, she'll drop her towel to the sand and take a seat next to him.] Although in my case, we had completed that step and were heading home.
Really? Lucky you. I just found out that was what they were trying to do all along. Kind of a bummer, realizing the bad guys have a 6 year head start on you and then suddenly getting transported to some other universe.
[She shakes her head, staring at the list of people Susato had produced earlier. There are still five of them missing, so it's possible that Alphinaud isn't among the dead, but...]
Not yet. The most probable answer is that he's with the other missing individuals, but the uncertainty of not knowing is torture.
They're...probably okay. [ By which Rex means "they might well be dead now too" but he knows better than to say that to Alisaie. ] Probably just took a wrong turn at the interdimensional exit, or whatever.
[She gives a little huff of laughter, but it's weak, not truly meant.] It wouldn't be the first time such a thing had happened...
I'll apologize for snapping at you last night in the courtyard. [But also: you kind of deserved it? Just not to that extent. She pauses, then frowns.] Though you might give your words more thought should it happen again.
[She doesn't quite laugh, but there's a "hmm" that could be a restrained chuckle.]
We were fortuitous in that respect. [Kind of??] Much of the initial work had been done for us by others ere our arrival. Once we arrived, all that remained was to formulate a plan and put it into action.
[ Rex is sitting atop his own jacket by one of the canals, looking around very carefully before he places his hand down on the ground anywhere. He also appears to be checking the canal itself! hmm! ]
Oh? [She's going to grab onto this hint of normalcy, something to distract herself from everything else for a moment.] And why is that? Have you any of your own?
[WELL THAT SURE MAKES SENSE TO HER. All these memories are awful!]
Paranoid, are we? [She'll come up and join him, dangling her feet over the edge of the canal.] Not that I blame you, of course. Not with all these memories being thrown about.
[She lets out a groan of frustration, dropping her head back for a moment.] You're far from the only one. I've taken to collecting mine in hopes I can prevent them from going off any further.
I doubt you've anything to worry about. So far I haven't heard of a single case of somebody picking up a shard and receiving someone else's memory. Our own, yes, and our familiars can trigger them, but nobody should be able to pick up one of yours from the street.
Oh yeah, Doc Holiday checked me over and everything. It's like a side effect of my nanites, which can't be removed and there's nothing that can cure 'em, so...I just have to live with it and hope it doesn't happen again.
[ he tries to keep his tone light and casual, but by the end of it, he's...pretty solemn about it and just awkwardly trying not to be. ]
Yeah, but what if I stumble into the same one again, and get stuck with that memory showing to even more peo--
[ He doesn't manage to finish because, as he's talking, he leans back and props his arm against the ground, forgetting that...there's quite a few shards around, and he's just touched one. So instead, they're thrown into a memory. (12:52 - 15:05)
It's a strange thing, to be in the middle of what feels like a routine Providence fight--protect the innocents from the big bad jerk EVO--but know that you have such a personal stake in it. It doesn't feel like it. It's foreign to you, but still carries a weight, a finality of sorts, to it.
The petty squabbles, the tower--those mean nothing, really. But the small ragtag group's freedom...this is closure. For them, and perhaps in a strange sense, you as well.
You defend them, offer your protection, because they deserve it and you can, even if it's not technically what you're supposed to do. And maybe, it's even a way to make amends for disappearing on them and forgetting them.
Then Quarry says those words, "it was Rex who gave you to me in the first place," and everything tilts on its axis.
He holds up the journal, the one you just found out about the other day. You demand it back--partially because he shouldn't have it on principle, and partially because...well, this is the closest you've ever come to understanding yourself. It's the only link there is to who you were before, where you came from, the only link to understanding a you who is so similar and yet so foreign. A look into a mirror and finally being able to understand what you're seeing.
As Quarry hits play, though, your stomach sinks. You hope for a second that this is a setup, that Quarry somehow framed him all those years ago and is now springing the trap, but you know it's not. Because you do remember--not entirely, but in flashes.
Meeting these other lost street rats and forming a group. Running around Hong Kong worry-free for the first time, knowing you have backup. Orchestrating robberies to feed yourselves, protect yourselves, find shelter. Striking a deal with Quarry to feed him information in exchange for extra protection and more cash. Maybe even enough cash to finally be secure, pull yourself out of the streets for good. And if the other street rats are collateral, then...that's on them, for not having the ruthlessness that's needed to make it out here.
You hadn't considered that when you finally got a look at yourself in the mirror, you might not like what you see.
Tuk decks you to the floor and you try to reassure them, that's not you! And in a sense, it isn't--you thought you'd understand yourself better by learning about your past, but you find that you can't understand what you did here years ago, it doesn't make sense, how can you possibly answer for the crimes of some other cruel kid who wore your face once upon a time, who you are now just wants to give them a way out--
That doesn't help, though, because they don't understand either, not anymore.
[IT'S FINE she Knows Things so she isn't going to meet the suspicion with anything more than a half-shrug.]
Alphinaud told me about the letter you'd sent him.
Forgive me, Rex. I realized what Susato had done, but it didn't occur to me you wouldn't know we had figured it out. Spike and I first began to wonder if it was her the night of the masquerade.
I'm sorry we let you think you'd been forgotten for so long.
Cared about what, exactly? Because it wasn't me, when you knew who killed me and decided to not do anything about it. And it wasn't Susato, when she told you what she did, and you acted like she was the only killer in the room.
[It's kind of funny. She's been fucking miserable this week, but this? This brings back some of her spark. Alisaie clenches her hands into fists, steeling herself against the accusations.]
The angels threatened to kill my brother, Rex. They blinded me for risking being found out once and the next week made me think they'd made good on those threats.
Mayhap you'd be brave enough to call their bluff if you'd heard your brother begging you to help him, but I wasn't.
[ ...well. that certainly does provide some valuable context. and maybe he'd even be more sympathetic, if he could remember having a brother, or other loved ones, that he could imagine in that position.
but he doesn't. all he has is liars. ]
Sure, fine, you "care." And what use is that to anybody else, if you don't actually do anything about it? Just because you tell yourself you care doesn't mean anybody else sees it.
At least Susato proved that she cared, even to me, and she's the one who killed me.
[Her lips press together tightly, one balled fist going to her hip (she'd fold her arms, but her left arm isn't fully healed, a deep slash still visible from her shoulder down her arm).]
And until today we'd not seen anything of what you've been doing in this realm. Roxis and Ulrika were the names most frequently mentioned in our meetings--shall I say they were the only ones who cared what happened here? You and Yelena got angry with me for not magically knowing you'd been building a bomb only they told us anything about!
What did you expect me to do? Accuse Susato before everybody while knowing the truth of mine own crimes?!
It's not about accusing her or not! I don't care about that--not anymore, anyway. Everyone found out it was her in the end, and it didn't even change anything.
But she came to you feeling guilty, and you knew why, and, what, all you could offer her was a "too bad, so sad, suck that you're a murderer but couldn't be me"? You know how terrible that feels, finding out later that the person you spilled your guts to was just as bad as you but didn't trust you enough to say anything about it? [ i mean. rex doesn't, because he's not susato and he wasn't there for that convo. but he's no stranger to betrayals, and he could see how much it hurt her to find out that alisaie had also killed after the fact. ]
You can say you care all you want, if it makes you feel better, but it doesn't change the fact that you hurt her. [ and also, y'know, killed roxis, but like. he can forgive murder compulsion, at least. ]
You seem to have a very different understanding of what happened than I. [She's frowning--Alisaie hasn't seen Susato yet to speak with her, but she can guess that Rex is working with with Susato's told him.]
Susato never told me what she did, nor did she "spill her guts." Each time I asked her to confide in me she redirected the conversation. She chose to keep her deeds to herself until I was certain enough of my suspicions to bring them up, and even then she said she didn't know what I meant by it!
You can be angry at me for not confessing to her in turn. But it was hardly a matter of trust. As I said, the angels threatened to kill Alphinaud. I tried to communicate that to her more than once and I thought she'd understood that. I had every reason to believe that were I to confess to my deeds, they would kill him.
I won't apologize for trying to protect him.
[But wow, no wonder she was getting so much grief at the beginning of the week--she's been working her ass off to try and collect information and organize everything for this war against Metatron and Xaphania, but it sounds like this side has been focusing on who has or hasn't been performative enough in their regret for their actions. And if that was the case, she was always going to come up short; Alisaie is the type of person to hide her weaker moments, especially in public.]
But you don't care about my side of things, do you? You only care that Susato was upset. In which case nothing I say is going to matter.
[ lmao tbf it's just rex who demands performativity #notalldeads
anyway rex's jaw clenches with a stern expression. ]
You don't have to apologize for anything. But I don't have to like any of it either. If there's one thing I learned from this place, it's that everyone's got their own side of things, and everyone picks whose side they care about most.
For you, your brother outweighed Susato. For me, Susato outweighs you. [ his tense anger loosens so that he shrugs with one shoulder with a callous air. ] If you make it up to her, then maybe I'll reconsider. But that all depends on how much you care about her, or me.
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week 0; tuesday
Alisaie's 100% been in the water swimming and y'know what Rex happens to be near where she's dumped her belongings so she's just gonna come right up and grab her towel (is it one of the ones from the hotel? Absolutely).]
You're too tall to be one of the children from the city. Are you another of those brought here a few days ago?
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Sure am. I'm guessing you are too?
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Yes, unfortunately. While the beach here is nice, I have pressing matters back home to attend to.
[This sucks!!!]
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Trust me, I know all about that. I kind of got dropped here at the worst possible moment.
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It always returns to controlling worlds, doesn't it? [Dried enough, she'll drop her towel to the sand and take a seat next to him.] Although in my case, we had completed that step and were heading home.
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w1, friday
...so, no sign of him yet, huh?
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Not yet. The most probable answer is that he's with the other missing individuals, but the uncertainty of not knowing is torture.
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I'll apologize for snapping at you last night in the courtyard. [But also: you kind of deserved it? Just not to that extent. She pauses, then frowns.] Though you might give your words more thought should it happen again.
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We were fortuitous in that respect. [Kind of??] Much of the initial work had been done for us by others ere our arrival. Once we arrived, all that remained was to formulate a plan and put it into action.
[But anyways--]
I'm Alisaie. You are...?
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I'd almost rather you did, after my unseemly behavior. Forgive me.
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I'm Rex.
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Besides, I'm not in the habit of forgetting brothers. ...if I can help it, anyway.
w2, wednesday (pre minievent)
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Paranoid, are we? [She'll come up and join him, dangling her feet over the edge of the canal.] Not that I blame you, of course. Not with all these memories being thrown about.
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I mean, I did kinda forget him, but not on purpose. Trust me, I couldn't forget that guy if I tried.
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If you say you couldn't forget him if you tried, how did you then forget him?
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Still...now I feel like I shoulda been collecting them all along! No way am I gonna find all the ones that triggered my memories again.
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...and has a healer examined you to ensure naught is amiss? Amnesia that strikes multiple times without warning isn't normal.
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I doubt you've anything to worry about. So far I haven't heard of a single case of somebody picking up a shard and receiving someone else's memory. Our own, yes, and our familiars can trigger them, but nobody should be able to pick up one of yours from the street.
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[ he tries to keep his tone light and casual, but by the end of it, he's...pretty solemn about it and just awkwardly trying not to be. ]
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[ He doesn't manage to finish because, as he's talking, he leans back and props his arm against the ground, forgetting that...there's quite a few shards around, and he's just touched one. So instead, they're thrown into a memory. (12:52 - 15:05)
It's a strange thing, to be in the middle of what feels like a routine Providence fight--protect the innocents from the big bad jerk EVO--but know that you have such a personal stake in it. It doesn't feel like it. It's foreign to you, but still carries a weight, a finality of sorts, to it.
The petty squabbles, the tower--those mean nothing, really. But the small ragtag group's freedom...this is closure. For them, and perhaps in a strange sense, you as well.
You defend them, offer your protection, because they deserve it and you can, even if it's not technically what you're supposed to do. And maybe, it's even a way to make amends for disappearing on them and forgetting them.
Then Quarry says those words, "it was Rex who gave you to me in the first place," and everything tilts on its axis.
He holds up the journal, the one you just found out about the other day. You demand it back--partially because he shouldn't have it on principle, and partially because...well, this is the closest you've ever come to understanding yourself. It's the only link there is to who you were before, where you came from, the only link to understanding a you who is so similar and yet so foreign. A look into a mirror and finally being able to understand what you're seeing.
As Quarry hits play, though, your stomach sinks. You hope for a second that this is a setup, that Quarry somehow framed him all those years ago and is now springing the trap, but you know it's not. Because you do remember--not entirely, but in flashes.
Meeting these other lost street rats and forming a group. Running around Hong Kong worry-free for the first time, knowing you have backup. Orchestrating robberies to feed yourselves, protect yourselves, find shelter. Striking a deal with Quarry to feed him information in exchange for extra protection and more cash. Maybe even enough cash to finally be secure, pull yourself out of the streets for good. And if the other street rats are collateral, then...that's on them, for not having the ruthlessness that's needed to make it out here.
You hadn't considered that when you finally got a look at yourself in the mirror, you might not like what you see.
Tuk decks you to the floor and you try to reassure them, that's not you! And in a sense, it isn't--you thought you'd understand yourself better by learning about your past, but you find that you can't understand what you did here years ago, it doesn't make sense, how can you possibly answer for the crimes of some other cruel kid who wore your face once upon a time, who you are now just wants to give them a way out--
That doesn't help, though, because they don't understand either, not anymore.
"At least we know who he is."
They walk away, and you don't try to follow. ]
week 7; land of the dead
But when she finds Rex, she's going to approach him.]
Were you ever able to figure out the pattern you were looking for?
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[...]
But how are you doing, Rex?
[Kotetsu doxxed that you couldn't remember anything... are you okay........]
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Why? What does it matter?
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Alphinaud told me about the letter you'd sent him.
Forgive me, Rex. I realized what Susato had done, but it didn't occur to me you wouldn't know we had figured it out. Spike and I first began to wonder if it was her the night of the masquerade.
I'm sorry we let you think you'd been forgotten for so long.
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...What? Of course I cared!
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The angels threatened to kill my brother, Rex. They blinded me for risking being found out once and the next week made me think they'd made good on those threats.
Mayhap you'd be brave enough to call their bluff if you'd heard your brother begging you to help him, but I wasn't.
That doesn't mean I didn't care.
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but he doesn't. all he has is liars. ]
Sure, fine, you "care." And what use is that to anybody else, if you don't actually do anything about it? Just because you tell yourself you care doesn't mean anybody else sees it.
At least Susato proved that she cared, even to me, and she's the one who killed me.
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And until today we'd not seen anything of what you've been doing in this realm. Roxis and Ulrika were the names most frequently mentioned in our meetings--shall I say they were the only ones who cared what happened here? You and Yelena got angry with me for not magically knowing you'd been building a bomb only they told us anything about!
What did you expect me to do? Accuse Susato before everybody while knowing the truth of mine own crimes?!
[Hello????]
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But she came to you feeling guilty, and you knew why, and, what, all you could offer her was a "too bad, so sad, suck that you're a murderer but couldn't be me"? You know how terrible that feels, finding out later that the person you spilled your guts to was just as bad as you but didn't trust you enough to say anything about it? [ i mean. rex doesn't, because he's not susato and he wasn't there for that convo. but he's no stranger to betrayals, and he could see how much it hurt her to find out that alisaie had also killed after the fact. ]
You can say you care all you want, if it makes you feel better, but it doesn't change the fact that you hurt her. [ and also, y'know, killed roxis, but like. he can forgive murder compulsion, at least. ]
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Susato never told me what she did, nor did she "spill her guts." Each time I asked her to confide in me she redirected the conversation. She chose to keep her deeds to herself until I was certain enough of my suspicions to bring them up, and even then she said she didn't know what I meant by it!
You can be angry at me for not confessing to her in turn. But it was hardly a matter of trust. As I said, the angels threatened to kill Alphinaud. I tried to communicate that to her more than once and I thought she'd understood that. I had every reason to believe that were I to confess to my deeds, they would kill him.
I won't apologize for trying to protect him.
[But wow, no wonder she was getting so much grief at the beginning of the week--she's been working her ass off to try and collect information and organize everything for this war against Metatron and Xaphania, but it sounds like this side has been focusing on who has or hasn't been performative enough in their regret for their actions. And if that was the case, she was always going to come up short; Alisaie is the type of person to hide her weaker moments, especially in public.]
But you don't care about my side of things, do you? You only care that Susato was upset. In which case nothing I say is going to matter.
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anyway rex's jaw clenches with a stern expression. ]
You don't have to apologize for anything. But I don't have to like any of it either. If there's one thing I learned from this place, it's that everyone's got their own side of things, and everyone picks whose side they care about most.
For you, your brother outweighed Susato. For me, Susato outweighs you. [ his tense anger loosens so that he shrugs with one shoulder with a callous air. ] If you make it up to her, then maybe I'll reconsider. But that all depends on how much you care about her, or me.